It’s arrived, all! Blue Monday is upon us! Before we all sigh in despair, we, at Startupzap are determined to keep Blue Monday a happy place. Therefore, we have gathered 23 side-splitting quotes to keep you laughing all day long, and banish those Monday blues. Enjoy!
1.I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
2. My favourite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
3. That moment when you talk to yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because you’re just so hilarious.
4. Calories - Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
5. When I have children, I’m going to make them watch the movie “2012” and tell them I survived that.
6. I am in my own little world…but it’s ok, they know me here.
7. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
8. Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow… When I woke up my pillow was gone.
9. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room
10. Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
11. I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to cover me up.
12. I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
13. Dear shaving commercials: please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress us, try shaving a gorilla.
15. Rocking a baby to sleep is actually a lot less like a Johnson & Johnson commercial and a lot more like wrestling a 20lb bag of snakes.
16. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
17. The kids across the street challenged me to a water fight, so I’m currently boiling the water.
18. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
19. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!
20. To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.
21. I don’t have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.
22. I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
23. There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side.
And there you have it, some inspiration to motivate you along this day. We hope they made you roar with laughter, or at the very least gave you a good laugh. After all, laughter is the language of the soul, especially for those of you out there starting up a business, we have to keep it truckin’.