How to Make Decisions

How to make decisions

Making decisions is easy if you know a few things. What happens is that at any time in our childhood somebody told us that making decisions is a very hard activity which entails risks and then we spend the rest of our life giving to that process a scheme and splendour that, according to me, the matter does not deserve.

Anyway, why do we think that we decide only in big moments? In emphatic moments, when you have to decide in 24 hours if you are going to Chicago with that man who you barely know, or if you are leaving your job because don´t even know how to justify yourself you are going to that job every morning.

Nevertheless, life is the addition of the thousands of decisions we made and not only the big ones.

It is childish to think that the outcome of our life depends solely on those decisive moments that we live with a cinematic epic.

As we do more is making decisions, better learn to decide as soon as possible.

Today I have thought that if I were a teacher someday, I would stop torturing my students with subjects that they can find on the Internet for free, if they are interested in at any time, and I would dedicate my lessons to this issue, which probably would help them to lead their lives with better judgement.

Here there are my notes for this kind uncommon lesson on how to make decisions

  1. Decide from love side. In life we can only make decisions from love side or from fear side. Making decisions from love side is focusing on what we want, and making decisions from fear side is making the decision focusing on what we don´t want. It took me years understand what is that about. If when you decide you are thinking about what you don´t want, you are making the decision to avoid that something happens (what you don´t want), that means that you are deciding from fear. But relax, it can be changed by training, and the results that you obtain deciding from love are amazing. I wish someone would have told us that when we were children, like in “The Pursuit of Happyness”…

2. Listen to your stomach. It knows more than your brain about almost everything. Sometimes I think the quality of a life´s person depends only on he or she has realized about that. It is possible that you have been years without listening to it and now you are thinking that listening to your stomach is about digestive process. No. It is about paying attention on what your body tells you when you think about one option and then repeat the process when you think about the other option. If you have doubts between your stomach and your brain, for a thousand reasons that I am not going to list now, do what your stomach says.

3. Never ever make a decision to make another person happy. It will hurt you and the other person. It doesn´t come to my mind more sophisticated ways to ruin a life that making decisions just for making other people happy. If you do it, sooner or later, you will feel resentment or fault.

4. If a decision doesn´t make you happy now, rarely it will make you happy in the future. ¿Do you want to be like this person who realizes about that fact the day he is fired in the film “Up in the Air”?

 5. Accept that you will always be disliked by someone. Or at least he or she won´t agree with you. And also accept that if it is not in that way, there is something that goes wrong in your life, very wrong. Trust me, make a decision which creates some uncertainty, discomfort or disapproval in your environment, if only to experience new emotions. You can´t be authentic and be liked by everyone all the time ... How long does nobody look at you with stunned face? Maybe you could watch “American Beauty” again…

6. Keep silence. I think you're wise. I don´t know who you are but I know you are. Deep down, we know what is best for us in every moment. I don´t understand why we don´t listen to ourselves. Skive, get a morning off or do whatever you want, but get silence for a while and ask yourself about the possible consequences of the decision you are about to make. You already know if that path has heart or it doesn´t. Just respect yourself. No mammal makes decisions against themselves apart from humans; my hypothesis is that we do it because we do not listen ourselves enough.

 

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